9Round is Not for Me

One of my coworkers was raving about a fitness concept called 9Round.  It is supposed to be a kickboxing version of Curves.  You know the deal – come in, work 9 stations, changing every 3 minutes, with calisthenics in between.  Supposedly a trainer is there to help you through the process.  Coworker said it was the best workout she had ever had and she had fun besides.  She invited a few of us to come check it out last night, so out of curiosity I went.


Based on the hype, I thought it would be cool pounding on punching bags and getting my sweat on.  After all, boxers are pretty fit.  It should have been a good workout.


It wasn’t.


The “trainer”, a 20-something tattooed wanna-be with about 6 pounds of makeup and dyed black hair, strapped pink (seriously?) boxing gloves on me, pointed me to a station and said “tap this lightly until the bell goes off”.  Um, really?  Just tap it?  How is this a workout?  Why did you bother making me wear gloves?  But I couldn’t ask her those questions because she flipped her hair and flounced off somewhere.


But it gets funnier.  For the interval she told me to hold a 10 pound dumbbell and do 20 squats.  No problem.  First she asked if the weight was too heavy.  Um, no.  Then she criticized my squats.  See, I’m used to doing a full range of motion squat with an Olympic bar plus weights.  She wanted me to only bend my knees 45 degrees on the theory that I would hurt myself. ( ‘Cause you know, I’m a fat old lady that has one foot hovering over a wheelchair, and the other foot in the grave.} Nice.  Where’d she get her training certificate – Wikipedia?  Does she even have one?


The “workout” got more stupid from there.  She even said she didn’t want to kill us on the first day so she wouldn’t ask us to run with the rest of the people there.  I was wearing one of my race shirts.  That’s usually a clue to people that running won’t kill me.  Observationally challenged, that one.


Needless to say, the “workout” was more of an anemic warm up for me.  My coworkers loved it.  Go figure.


On the way home, I decided to check out one of the new Cross Fit places.  I immediately felt more at home there.  People throwing big weights around and boot-camp style calisthenics is totally my scene.  The main issue with it is the huge time and money commitment.  I can’t justify spending so much money on an activity that forces me to be away from my family so much. 


*sigh*  I have so much potential.  I hate that word.  Potential means you’re falling short of what you can accomplish.  And it’s true, I am.  Looks like I’m still going to have to figure this out on my own.


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