I’m a Princess

Once upon a time there was a little girl who wanted to grow up to be a princess – or a teacher, or a ballerina, or a chemist. Whatever. You can be all of those other things as long as you can be a princess too, right? Only this little girl grew up to be less like Princess Grace of Monaco and ended up more like the pre-makeover Anne Hathaway in “The Princess Diaries”. Oh, and she turned out to not be a princess at all. In fact, she’s not a teacher, a ballerina, or a chemist either.

Even though she didn’t end up being a real-life princess, she still held that fantasy in her mind. It would be great to be like Kate Middleton, she thought to herself. But there are the hurdles of being short, curvy, and about 50 pounds overweight standing in my way. OK, we can still work with this. Let’s see, first we need an attitude adjustment. Where’s my wrench?

What’s the attitude adjustment for? Well, you see that smile on Kate Middleton’s face? That’s not just because she’s rich and popular. That smile is a part of her public image. Maybe if I don’t walk around acting as if the sky is falling all the time, it would look better. After all, that’s the goal, right? It’s hard to wear a pretend tiara if you’re busy reenacting the Chicken Little tale. A smile won’t make me slimmer or taller, but it looks better than a perma-frown. Plus, short girls get to wear stilettos. That will put a smile on your face right there.

Then there’s that whole lack of funds issue. While I’m certain the royals have their own finance concerns, they clearly have a tad more discretionary income than most. There are ways to work around this, I’m sure. At least I can sew, and have a more than passing knowledge of budgeting. I may never be able to run out and buy a season’s worth of clothing in a weekend, but the odd piece or two here and there is doable. It’s not a fashion crisis if you have a bit of creativity under your belt.

Sadly, the hair is going to take some major wishing upon a star. Perhaps I should get a wig. I’ve always wanted to have a pink wig. Do pretend princesses get to wear pink wigs? It would look awesome with my tiara.

I’m a princess and this is my tiara!


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